Beard Removal


I like to grow a beard from time to time. It starts off by me not shaving for a couple of days. I do that all the time. But if someone says, "Hey, are you growing a beard?" then that's my cue.

I must have A.D.D. though because it never lasts long. Actually this time around was for a different reason.

Point is, I've had many a beard, and removed many a beard, so I feel I'm completely qualified to go through these 12 steps on how to remove a beard.

 

Step 1: Get a reason to remove beard.

Step 2: Get some clippers. You can't just shave it off with a razor. Get some clippers and clip away the beard. Watch you don't clip your lips off.

 

Step 3: If lips are accidentally clipped off, place lips back on face. You might want to wash them first, especially if they landed on the floor.

Step 4: Now you can get the razor. Make sure you have an extra blade handy.

Step 5: Get the shaving cream and run some hot water. Hey, don't laugh.

Step 6: Rinse face with hot water and THEN apply generous amounts shaving cream to face. Soap is OK to use if shaving cream isn't available but you better have 2 extra blades handy.

 

Step 7: Apply razor to face and, with careful down strokes, remove hair and shaving cream from face. Notice it's not the closest shave you've ever given yourself. That's why you should have an extra blade.

Step 8: Remove razor blade from razor and throw in the garbage or give to your neighbors' kid.

Step 9: After replacing the razor blade with a new one, reshave face. Wash away left over shaving cream.

Step 10: Take a towel and dry face.

Step 11: Look in mirror and nod with approval.

Step 12: Use Kleenex or paper towel pieces to place on cuts.

Step 13: Wait a few days for cuts to heal.
 

Now, no one will give you the seniors' discount anymore, but hey, that's OK. Enjoy your new lease on life. Until you grow it again.