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When I was watching Metal: A Headbangers Journey, there’s an interesting quote from a critic that goes: “Heavy Metal is unsophisticated music for unsophisticated people.” Maybe he really meant to say it was New Country Music. Now I like Bluegrass – one, it’s technically challenging; two, it’s pretty “authentic”. It’s not phony like hearing Grunge bands sing about how depressed they are. But when I hear country music, I feel myself getting dumber, as if I’m lowering myself to a level that I’m not comfortable at being. But why? Does hearing two-dimensional music make one lack dimensions as well? At my current day job, I have to battle back. The girl that sits in the cube next to me has a country radio station on. Some days, I have to get out the big artillery such as Iron Maiden’s Killers, Iommi’s Fused, or when I feel I’m really getting stupid, I put on Lamb of God’s As The Palaces Burn. And as much as I can’t understand “extreme guttural vocals”, I’m sure what they’re saying isn’t about their high school sweetheart – again. Another item I have to analyse is: do the words bother me or how it’s sung? Granted, most country singer do sound like they spent 2 years in Grade 10 before dropping out, which makes it more creepy that they’re longing for their former sweethearts. Does that mean, as people, they can only relate to a girl who’s 15 or 16? You might be saying, “But wait a second, Gregg. Most country artist don’t write their own songs.” You’re absolutely correct, so not only do they sound dumb, they have other people make them songs, probably because they can't write with a pencil. I’d say 95% of the lyrics in new country songs make AC/DC look like Pulitzer material. Also, this personally goes back to my view on how a vocalist (as in, that’s all they do) could never be considered a talent. Creating something usually equals talent, not rehashing. Anyways, when I hear about liking tractors and NASCAR, makes me think that, yup, those people haven't evolved. Which makes even more sense since most of them are probably Creationists. Wow, I'm even learning something today. Now image, like most commercialised forms of music, is a big part too. Usually, you like bands because of their sound (easier to do back when everyone had their own) or sometimes you could identify with a projected image. A good example is me – my hair’s a little longer than most guys and I enjoy stylin’ shoes – but I’m pretty much a plain old rock guy. The image part is easy for the country star: Goofy cowboy hats (only worn inside), the goofy cowboy boots, weak beer (Budwiser, Coors), long leather jackets, jeans – the tough guy look... but with wussy lyrics (like most alternative music). And lastly, I’m convinced that Country Music is the only “music” that’s has the most annoying attributes embellished as if it makes it any more listenable. Some how that sells. And trust me, it’s not over my head, I just can’t relate to the lowest common denominator. So Kids, stay smart, listen to songs about banging, stay in school and stay away from New Country Music. And what's with those names? Clint Troy McGruff, Tyler Luke Dirt, Lloyd Duane Black...ugh. Here's some fun; make your own New Country Music Star Name by matching up a name from each column. For you people in the South, choose one name from the "First Name column, than add a second name from the Middle Name column, take a deep breath, then add yet another name from the Last Name column, and Presto:
And to top it off, here's a good Country joke:
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As
a friend of mine pointed out a while ago, Western Culture is the only culture
where its music actually progresses and evolves. Good point. It says a lot about
a culture. But what about New Country music?